staying on task

Now that Ella is away for two mornings a week at "school", I have two mornings a week to get some uninterrupted work done.  Granted, this is only my third day of Ella-free mornings, but I am really struggling to stay focused on one task at a time.  I have become so used to juggling multiple to-do's at once, and though this is my norm, I am not the most efficient at it.  I never quite get anything done completely, leaving lots of stray bits hanging around for a quiet moment that I'll get who-knows-when.  

For example, after my husband left with Ella this morning, I quickly gathered up all of the dirty laundry from upstairs and took it to the basement.  I had thought I would just drop it down there, maybe sort it into the baskets that live near the washer and dryer, and then return to our bedroom to strip the bed and put new sheets on.  But instead, I decided there was enough laundry for one load and I spent probably 15 minutes putting it in the washer.  I then returned to our bedroom and stripped the bed and decided that our bedroom floors could really use a good cleaning.  So I threw the dirty sheets in the laundry basket and got to work vacuuming the floors, and then the floor in Ella's room and finally the floor in our workroom.

A small note: I had started to make a cup of coffee prior to taking the first laundry basket to the basement and forgot to get back to it until after I had vacuumed all the floors.  Hello cold coffee (argh).

Now, I have an unmade bed, a full laundry basket again, and I only have about another hour to get some of my actual, help pay the bills, work done.  Perhaps, as we get more comfortable with this new routine, I can learn to shut myself in my workroom promptly at 8:45am and just work until my alarm alerts me that it's time to leave to pick Ella up.  But there is always something else needing done and it's so hard for me not to feel like I can do it all, though I have compiled a good bit of evidence that I most certainly cannot.

I found this article on Parents magazine's website.  It was helpful to read but the entire idea that one can master working at home and caring for your children at the same time seems like an oxymoron to me.  I'm sure that making a schedule and capitalizing on the time when my daughter isn't around will help me be much more productive, but it is a little crazy to think that you could ever expect a certain level of calm achieved on any one given day to become the norm for all days.

I will be making a schedule for next week and I'll be sure to share it here.  Then we can check in and see how it's actually working for us after we get a few weeks under our belt.  Oh, and all advice is accepted!  I need all the help I can get.

good examples

I had a post planned for today but I'll save it for later.  I've been bothered, since lunch with Ella yesterday, about the downright saddening attitude and discipline I witnessed during our lunch out after music class.  I initially titled this post "parenting styles", but I don't think there's anything particularly stylish about what I witnessed.

As we were sitting at our table eating, a large family was seated at a table nearby.  The family seemed to include a set of grandparents, the little boy in question, who appeared to be about three years old, and the boy's parents.  Ella naturally began smiling and staring at the boy and expressing interest in him and his activities.  I encouraged her to say hello and turned to him to say hello myself.  When I turned back around to continue eating my lunch (and encouraging Ella to eat hers), the boy must have made an undesirable comment in regard to us, or Ella, or myself.  I'm unsure because I did not hear it but I did hear his grandmother tell him that his comment was not very nice and that he needed to be nice to others.  Their tone of relaying this information to the boy was perfectly normal and left no cause for concern until, about five minutes later, the boy let out a short yell or scream.  What followed was a brash scolding from his grandmother about using an inside voice (ironically not in an inside voice) and the words "shut up" and "do you want me to take you outside" from his grandfather.  You would think that this would surely have been enough harsh language, especially since the boy had been silent since his initial scream, but then the mother chimed in with a swift "you want me to take you outside for a spanking?".  I was heartbroken listening to this, and even more disturbed when I saw Ella so intently focused on the exchange.  She immediately asked me with concern, "Mommy, what he doing?"

As I was trying to distract her and find the right words to explain to her that what she had just heard was disrespectful, I heard a smack (didn't see anything), the boy beginning to cry, and his grandmother yelling at him yet again "you don't do that".  He had just, moments before, been happily singing his ABC's.    

As saddened as I was for the little boy who was being subjected to such treatment, I was also upset that my daughter was a witness to it.  I firmly believe that we are to treat others the way we would wish to be treated - with respect and dignity.  A person's age should make no difference.  Everyone is entitled to be treated respectfully.  In hindsight, I find it unsurprising that the boy made a mean comment initially.  His parents and grandparents don't seem to be teaching him how to be nice to others through the actions they, themselves, display towards him.  Jordan said it perfectly in this blog post earlier this month.  We ARE the best examples of for our children, so let's be good examples.

This incident has reaffirmed my focus on and commitment to trying be the best example I can be for my daughter so that she will grow up understanding that respect is just what we do.